and here is why my week is busy

it started off late as hell, i didn't get back to the 'vine til midnight tues/wed.  so i ended up being late to my trainer shift.  it sucks cause i woke up 30 minutes after the shift started, and right as i was about to call i get a call from the office.  i mean the shift was canceled cause we don't ever direct in the rain, but it still sucks cause i called late and one of my trainees was already there.

after my training i skipped my math class to do something i don't quite remember, but i was doing something important.  then i had another shift at 1 which turned into something different.  as i was doing a work related errand me and my partner for the shift end up kinda shit talking the way our subsection of the deptarments been, and well it was to someone who we later found out to be a narc.  so it ends up getting back to our supervisors by like 2-3 hours later.  bullshit.  frankly she spun what we said way out of preportion so we can definitely cover ourselves up cause she was making shit up.

i ended up stayin on campus rather than headin back home cause i wanted a DD for the yard house.  i ended up getting a half yard and another pint.  seeing as how i was still recovering from the cold i got pretty wasted.

yesterday thursday

so i wake up early for no reason and be productive.  i end up getting really dope grades for both my women's studies midterms.  i knew i'd do good on the upper div one, but the lower div class had me worried cause i slack off way too much.  for my upper div class got 10/10 on the paper and 23/25 on the oral exam; for the lower div i got 90%.  the 90% has me happy cause i did 1 hour studying before that shit, and i thought i totally bombed the essay.  i'm sure intro classes love it when you throw some gramsci and random marxist readings.  well i am a fucking 5th year =/.

inbetween lectures i end up staying on campus cause it's the kaba meeting and supposedly they were gonna do a talk on people power, i've been pretty upset cause the last time they had any serious political discussion was during the jfav; that's a pretty non controvorsial topic, no critical engagement required what so ever.  baucas said: kaba con too if you want to count that; but yea both of us don't really count it.

how did i feel about the meeting?  two historical inaccuracies kind of irked me.  speaker apparently saw a clip of ninoy being assassinated (didn't say how long ago), of course i saw it too and there is only one clip of that shit.  "you just see the door closing, and you hear hundreds of rounds being fired, but they say they were firing at ninoys assassin."  it's been 4 years since i saw that clip and its pretty vivid in my mind.  an mp brushes him on the back as he gets ninoy up from his seat, ninoy looks disheartened and you see him step out of the plane you hear a SINGLE gunshot, i think there was two or three total.  the MP helping ninoy out of his seat brushed his back to feel for a bullet proof vest, an action ninoy recognizes and he realizes he's going to be killed.  the MP knows he has a vest on so he aims for his head instead of his body.  no need for hundreds of rounds, nor did i hear hundreds of rounds on the clip.  other inaccuracy, Marcos initiated Martial Law because of a train bombing.  nope there were multiple bombings occuring at the time, the one that initiated martial law was due to a carbombing on the car he was supposed to be in; and this was later found to be initiated by Marcos himself.

i know i'm a history buff and people can't memorize specifics, but you can't go over exaggerated situations, ninoy was killed with a head shot, it wasn't kosovo on that airline strip.  

but that aside, i felt that there was too much lecture not enough discussion.  i liked that they brought up that marcos did stimulate the economy, it's true; cause there's always two sides to the picture, like the fact that he took that surplus for himself and it's still in an offshores bank rather than the hands of the philippine people.  and ninoy was not the end all for philippine politics, nor was corey aquino the savior afterwards; cause she didn't implement land reform and because of that you got situations like the hacienda lucinda massacre down the road.  not to mention she had to be an even greater dictator to undue the corruption initially placed by marcos, like that got solved either.

martial law was what facilitated the creation for pil-am orgs in the first place. we can look in hindsight and say: shit martial law was evil. but what many pil-ams don't realize is that during THAT time, our predecessors weren't so necessarily united as well, i'm speaking of the community. even at that time there were folks that were unsure which side of the line to be on, saying: maybe martial law would be good in the philippines. which is alright to an extent cause you don't know. but now in this time WE CAN look in hindsight and say it was evil. yes there was a stimulus of the economy but at what cost? the freedoms and liberties of the philippine people; and where did that money go anyway? in the pockets of the corrupt. this is why i disagree with simply giving information and letting the people decide. those on the other side of the fence decided it was necessary to create an organization, it was necessary to come together.

yes as an individual decisions are ultimately up to the individual; but as an organization a stand must be taken, situations like the state of emergency two years ago we HAVE precedent.  even now we're getting evidence of the mass corruption of the philippine government through their political/extra judicial murders. the thing is, kababayan itself was created because a group of people took A STAND.  you can't simply wait on things and see if they'll be okay.  we live in a country with such grandoise ideals as freedom and liberty and the prusit of the green.  notice how money goes last, that means freedom and liberty FIRST.  how can there be a situation where the people can't be free and you let that happen?  frankly these are ideas that are supposedly across the boarder of the political spectrum, there can't be any half assing of this.  and if you disagree with notions of liberty then you're just making whatever group you're with look bad.

however i understand the implications of "alienating" individuals when you take a stand.  yes it's important to accept different vantage points, and this does go over that boarder of an organization being for it's membership, but what do we do with that history?  do we ignore the fact that the group was created to fight against dictatorship and say: oh we think it's okay now?  

i guess i don't understand things because i have too much of an egalitarian mindset.  people should be free to do what they want as long as they don't abridge or exploit other people.

the only way i see other people accepting things like dictatorships, labor exploitation, etc is because they want to benefit from it or they themselves want to be dictators.  i frankly can't stomach fucking over people just so i can be cushy, i mean i'm selfish too but just not in that way.

and well if you're a jackass, well i'll definitely fuck you up.   k time to do my homework.