Scattered Moments of Memories Past (complete 3/02/06)

I find myself locked in a dream upon scattered moments of memories past
But the thing is…they’re not my memories
Voices, people, places I’ve never been to
Other worlds, ways of thought
Waves of sound, colors never before seen
The other side of the mirror
The day mare to the night dream
It all seems so ridiculously curious
So where am i?
I wake up sprawled across a bamboo mattress
As I step off the bed a pain stems from
My heel as I feel the grains of sand between my toes
I know that this pain, is from a rock
As I remove the sharp pebble the blood drips onto
The fresh soil that my family has tiled for generations
And yet that land, is not our own
As I look at my blistered worn hand I realize that I am six
I am six
And already I’ve give up the hopes of school to help till the earth till I’m now
But these thoughts are superceded by another pain
It’s been seven days and we’ve eaten no more than three meals
Dad explains that even after all the work we do harvesting the sugar cane
After the company deducts from his paycheck that’s all that’s left
In a country where 10% of the people own 90% of the land
It seems there’s little that demands can do to change what the dealer calls our hand
But our parents say the future is ours to do
And they look into our eyes and say: we’ll change the stars for you
I am seven
It’s been a year since mom and dad started to help organize the other workers
But they’re more than just others, we’re like family now
And when one of my aunties or uncles gets killed
A chill runs down my spine
And there’s little I can do to stop from crying
This state of emergency has me worrying whether or not they’ll come home tonite
As me and my sisters weave baskets to sell on the streets
We hear a knock on the door
And we know the worst is yet to come
And they’ve come to take mom and dad away
But he argues they’ll be no one to take care of the children
So they try to grab mom but he lunges at them
And someone starts shooting
DON’T SHOOT THE CHILDREN she says DON’T SHOOT THE CHILDREN she says
But they start shooting at us
One by one, two by two, three by three, four by four, five by five, six by six,
And they turn to me: seven by seven

Bayan bayan ko hindi pa tapos ang laban mo
My people my people the struggle ain’t over
Bayan bayan ko hindi pa tapos ang labon mo
My people my people the struggle ain’t over
My eyes open and I’m in the middle of a crowded street
I hear chants and screams as banners wave among clear blue skies that are streaked
As smoke from tear gas canisters rise
With the hopes of enveloping our lungs and burning our eyes
We are surrounded by police and military in riot gear
Cutting through this urban concrete jungle with water hoses
As if bolo knives and we are the vines and booby-trapped mines protecting our freedom from those who dare steal it
And while I’m afraid there’s not time to feel it
MAKIBAKA HUWAG MATAKOT
And as we stand tall the heavens shook
I looked on fists rise in solidarity
And the batons swung like pendulums strung on clockwork oranges
As the police begin the riot all of a sudden I fall down
And it starts to get quiet
As the blood flows from my head to my cheeks I see it start to spill onto the streets
Bayan Bayan ko hindi pa tapos ang laban mo
My people…my people

The sun creeps through the blinds and I open my eyes
And behold the most beautiful woman in the world
Her long disheveled hair bears platinum streaks
As her sun worn cheeks speak of the 32 years we’ve spent together
Time’s magic marked her
But as I look at her closed eyes I’m reminded of her
Kneeling alongside the nuns praying the rosary
Amidst the roaring sounds of tanks and a million people
As she opened her eyes and looked at me
I saw a truth so deep I could not bear it’s weight
We knew each other for ten years but it was only then that I knew I loved her
She was spiritual she would lend her hand to those in need
And was quick to speak out against injustice and greed
Yes time’s magic marked her, yet her eyes always shown that fire within
And with that thought I begin to cook breakfast for us
I crack some eggs and I hear some glass shatter above in our room
And as I run I see my love and I see her wound
And I run to her and grab her
As I feel her life drip through my hands
I feel a quick sudden heat at my temple

So where am I
Finally a familiar scene that I seem to recognize as my own
But as I look at my reflection once again I can’t recognize my face
And so I continue to race through these dreams
These scenes
These memories I’ve seen
All thses beings
Just trying to retrace back to where I’ve been
And I’m lost